How To Save A Life
by Rosesdancinginmymind
Summary: Songfic based on The Fray's 'How To Save A Life'. Emma looks back on her friendship (and it's post-curse deterioration) with Regina. TW for swearing later on and a major character death. This is not a happy story.


___Summary: Emma looks back on her friendship (and it's post-curse deterioration) with Regina. TW for swearing later on and a major character death. This is not a happy story. I don't own Once or it's characters nor do I own the song lyrics. Apologies for any mistakes. _

___Based on The Fray's How To Save A Life - The lyrics used to be in here as well but I got a warning about it so I had to take them out, if you want to read those along with story you can find them on or another website like that._

The blonde sits in her booth at Granny's and wonders if the other woman will actually show. Before that damn curse broke the pair of them had managed to build a tentative friendship, albeit a strained one based primarily around their son, but still a friendship nonetheless. Nowadays the blonde rarely sees the brunette and she finds she misses her which is why she has called the meeting.

Finally the brunette enters the building and the blonde fails to notice the glares from the left of her around the diner as she stares out of the window. The brunette offers a polite smile to the blonde, one that doesn't really cover all of her fear at being out in public or the knowledge that everyone else in the diner blames her for the problems in their lives. The blonde doesn't seem to notice or if she does she doesn't mention it. When her grin is met with the strained polite smile of the brunette the blonde frowns. Their talk is strained and the attempts the blonde makes at conversation are met with either monosyllabic responses or silence. The blonde frowns and sighs wondering why the other woman came at all if she wasn't going to talk. Eventually she gives up and leaves not noticing the panicked stare of the other woman at being left alone in that diner.

Now the blonde wonders what would have happened if she had just stayed.

* * *

Before the curse they would have movie nights on a Friday which they both loved, even if neither would admit it. They both said for Henry. But after he went to bed neither would call the night to an end instead staying up most of the night talking and laughing. Both found they enjoyed the other's company even if neither could admit it.

Post curse the move nights have come to an abrupt stop. The blonde finds she misses the nights spent speaking to the other woman. She moves to pick up the phone but then her mother walks in and she can't.

Now she wonders what would have happened had she just spent one more night talking to the other woman.

* * *

The blonde tries to talk to the other woman but somehow each conversation ends in hostility. The blonde starts civil and tries to steer the woman to the right path but she is keeping secrets and the brunette knows.

The blonde lies to the brunette while she tries to force her to be honest. The brunette tries to face up to her mistakes and acknowledge her guilt but no-one recognises that attempt, not even the blonde. They all assume it is a trick. No-one sees the desperation of the brunette hoping that someone will realise she is actually and honestly trying her best. No-one seems to care. Not even the blonde. Instead they accuse her.

Now the blonde looks back and can see the loneliness of the other woman and wonders what would have happened had they just given the brunette a chance.

* * *

The brunette shows up one night knocking on the door and the blonde answers quickly to stop her disturbing the other occupants of the apartment. The brunette is clearly drunk having needed to build up her courage in order to come here. The blonde ignores the desperate need the woman has to talk to someone, instead she orders her to leave hissing that she's going to wake Henry and to sleep off whatever it is she's consumed.

The blonde knows that before the curse she would have invited the brunette in and tried to find out what exactly had caused her to drink so much. She would have stayed up with her as long as it took to get answers. Now things are different, the blonde has the reputation of being 'the saviour' to uphold, she has a family who will not let the brunette stay under any circumstance, now she's still angry at the brunette. So now, she sends the brunette out into the cold wet night on her own oblivious to the tears mingling in with the rain on the older woman's face.

Now she wishes she had chased after the woman or at least driven her home.

* * *

At the docks the two woman start off talking but somehow it goes wrong, they begin to argue, the brunette quickly losing her temper and swinging between pleas for a second chance and rage at the blonde. The blonde cannot understand what is happening with the other woman and lowers her own voice to try and keep the conversation calm. She tells the brunette her story to show her she understands but the brunette just turns to her frustrated, tears brimming in her eyes, and tells her it is not the same and that she won't understand. The blonde grows exasperated before telling the other woman that soon she will have to make the choice between magic and Henry, between vengeance and what's right.

Now she knows that offering that choice did nothing to help the other woman. All it did was remind the brunette how little she had, and how little she had to lose.

* * *

The blonde doesn't speak to the brunette again. No-one seems to. In fact no-one hears from her for a while. The blonde doesn't realise how lonely the other woman is until the brunette approaches her son who she hasn't seen in months. The blonde is still bitter over what the brunette did to her parents, and what the brunette's mother has caused her family. The blonde gives her one minute with Henry. She overhears her tell Henry that she has no-one else to talk to and the blonde momentarily frowns wondering why the brunette hasn't returned to Archie or why she hasn't come to speak to her.

Now she knows that the brunette tried to talk to her but that she wasn't listening. She now recalls how dishevelled and unkempt the brunette looked that day, how her eyes looked a little less full of life and how her voice was flat and gravelly. Now she wishes she had tried one last time to talk to her.

* * *

The blonde walks past the mansion on Mifflin Street and immediately gasps in shock at the sight of the place. The apple tree, which she recalls from some of their first interactions with a smile, is now dead, the apples black and falling off slowly as if they can barely hold their own weight. The garden is itself a mess and clearly hasn't been tidied in a long time, there is loose rubbish strewn on the lawn. She can see the kitchen window is smashed and there are obvious signs of graffiti all over the house. She passes the Mercedes and see that someone has slashed all the tyres and scrawled _BITCH_ over the windscreen. She frowns wondering how she didn't know this was going on, how she let this go on and how long this has been going on for. The wind blows past her and the door swings open and the blonde feels a rush of fear at the fact that the brunette has left her door unlocked.

As she walks hesitantly into the brunette's foyer she gasps again at the state of the place. The kitchen is a mess and from what she can see on the plates the newest food is from a few weeks ago, she remembers how the woman looked last time she saw her and wonders when she last ate. There is a thick layer of dust surrounding every surface as if the house hasn't been cleaned in a very long time. That chill runs up the blonde's spine again when she sees the smashed mirror and the smashed bottle of wine on the floor. She sees red liquid on the floor and she knows despite the bottle that it isn't wine.

"Regina?!" she calls panic creeping into her tone as she runs up the stairs now recognising all of the signs that she had missed because of how angry she was at the brunette. She hadn't seen her loneliness or her sadness or her fear instead letting herself be swayed by Snow and Charming telling her that the brunette was the enemy. She wishes she hadn't listened to them and had instead followed her instincts and seen the brunette. She wishes she hadn't just cut off all ties with the other woman and wonders how different things would have been had she just stayed her friend.

She reaches brunette's bedroom door hoping she doesn't find what she thinks she's about to find. She sees the other woman curled up in her bed and hopes she's just sleeping. She knows she isn't. She starts to cry as she realises her mistakes.

* * *

The blonde is sitting in a cold empty corner of the cemetery. She's the only one who visits this particular stone, every else either ignores talking about the other woman or only mentions her as the evil queen. Even Henry though occasionally seems to miss the brunette rarely talks about her. It feels to the blonde as if she's the only one who remember the other side to Regina, the one who took care of Henry and was so full of love, the one who liked cheesy horror movies and who the blonde got addicted to toffee popcorn, the woman who the blonde could have easy conversation with throughout the night. The blonde wonders how she is the only one who can see that they could have stopped this from happening, that had she kept in touch with the brunette than perhaps she wouldn't have spiralled so far. She wishes she had done something. She knows full well that she would have stayed up with the other woman for as long as she needed to if it would have helped her. Now she does. She stays seated by the cold stone talking to a woman who can't hear her anymore. No-one else comes. The blonde chooses not to leave, she stays next to the brunette like she should have done before.

She presses her hand to the stone and whispers, "I miss you and I'm sorry" knowing that it isn't enough now. That it can't bring back the other woman. It is only now she realise the weight of where she herself went wrong, in her bitterness, in holding onto her family's grudges, she let herself lose the brunette. She knows it's too late for this now but she rests against the stone and settles in for one more night with her friend.


End file.
